{"id":64,"date":"2014-06-06T05:00:45","date_gmt":"2014-06-06T05:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cougarcharisma.com\/?page_id=64"},"modified":"2019-08-19T21:58:50","modified_gmt":"2019-08-19T21:58:50","slug":"cougar-confessions","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.cougarcharisma.com\/","title":{"rendered":"Cougar Confessions"},"content":{"rendered":"

I must confess, I have been a confirmed Cougar<\/strong> for more than 10 years now…<\/h1>\n

I didn\u2019t set out to be one. It just evolved out of circumstance. In fact, I didn\u2019t see it coming. I was fairly shocked that I still \u201chad it goin\u2019 on\u201d. I had been in a toxic marriage for several decades. My ex was 12 years older than I was and seemed like a good, stable, choice in a mate\u2014financially secure, churchgoing man and all. I couldn\u2019t have been more wrong.<\/h3>\n

After my divorce I remember my mother\u2019s sage advice. \u201cIf you ever marry again you should marry an older man who can take care of you financially.\u201d I remember without thinking I blurted out, \u201cIf I ever marry again, I want a young man who will rock my world every night!\u201d I thought she might combust! Okay, after years of being with a man who was less than\u201d perky\u201d and anything but interested in me<\/strong>— I was ready for a change!<\/h3>\n

When I had last dated, only older men dated younger women. Sure I had heard of the 60\u2019s movie \u201cThe Graduate\u201d with Dustin Hoffman, but I\u2019ve never actually seen it. I must admit, I watched \u201cAmerican Pie\u201d with my kids and learned the acronym \u201cMILF\u201d but I never dreamed I\u2019d be referred to as one!<\/h3>\n

I was introduced to this intoxicating new world on a cruise. I took the cruise alone because I just needed a huge break after my divorce. Did I ever get one! I found myself on a ship in the middle of paradise –with a new kind of paradise in the discovery of my latent sex appeal to young men. Who knew? \u00a0They even have a song about this phenomenon \u201cStacy\u2019s Mom\u201d( has got it goin\u2019 on).<\/h3>\n

Everywhere I went onboard the ship young men were following me around and asking to spend time with me–etc. \ud83d\ude42 I remember being totally shocked– and okay absolutely delighted by this new experience. What an ego boost! I thought it was just an isolated experience of unusual young men onboard the ship until I came home and realized I was being actively pursued by young men wherever I went. Damn! This was some FUN!<\/h3>\n

Fast Forward 10 years. I have now resigned myself to the fact that I am a\u201d born again\u201d COUGAR! Meaning it has brought totally new life and meaning to my experience to be with amazing young men. My last relationship lasted for 6 years with a man more than 20 years younger. Yeehaw! We were in a monogamous, committed, relationship that brought depth and meaning and a lot of fun to both our lives! I am currently in a committed, monogamous, relationship with a man 20 years younger than me.<\/h3>\n

Just to clarify, I am serious about this stuff. I have been with two different young men who actually planned to marry me. We talked about it at length. I decided after decades of misery and suffering in a bad marriage, I really don\u2019t want to make that mistake again. It\u2019s hard to work up the courage to risk it all again. So I prefer a partnership instead. If we are bucking social norms here, why not have what you really want, right?<\/h3>\n

So how do you pull off a serious, committed relationship with a hot young buck? (Or with a cougar if you are that young buck) Stay tuned in and I will elucidate\u2026\u2026<\/h3>\n

Cougar: What is it?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve learned that technically a cougar is a woman who dates a man 10 or more years younger. Who\u2019s counting? I think it\u2019s just about older women with younger men. It\u2019s an attitude not an age.<\/h3>\n

The Cougar Controversy:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Some people think a woman who wants to be with a much younger man is like a closet pedophile– even though they are consenting adults. Ok let\u2019s face it, there have been some high profile cases of actual women pedophiles who have tainted the whole thing of being with a younger guy by seducing teenagers. Sick!!! I recently read about a middle school teacher who gave a lap dance to her male student who was having a birthday– in front of the entire class! One of the students filmed it on his phone. EWWWWW!<\/h3>\n

The whole idea of an older woman with a much younger man creates a stir! People have strong opinions about it. Some think it’s kinky or predatory in nature–imagining some woman preying on unsuspecting young men who don’t have the experience or sophistication to not succumb to her seduction. Some people are just plain offended by the idea of a hot, (often very fit) young man, with an older women–Especially older men! Some people think a young man who wants an older woman has “mommy” issues or an \u201cOedipus Complex\u201d.<\/h3>\n

Public Reactions to Cougars:<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Older Men Get Angry:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I had a comment from a man (51 years old) reading my online dating profile that said “I really enjoyed reading your profile till I got to the part where you are looking for \u201cboys\u201d the same age as my son?” \u00a0Okay. And the problem with that is? He was indignant that I didn’t want a man his age.\u00a0My profile said I was looking for men 30 to 45. So a 30 year old is a \u201cboy?\u201d I don\u2019t think so!<\/h3>\n

Other Women Congratulate You<\/strong>:<\/h2>\n

Women– for how many generations have we seen men choose much younger women? (Even while the men are married to us?) Is being with a younger woman a problem for the men? \u00a0They don\u2019t think so. So why is it that when a WOMAN chooses to be with a sexy, young, buck, people get all riled up? I get high fives from women when I tell them I\u2019ve had a committed relationship with a man 21 years younger for several years. I think it shocks them.<\/h3>\n

Voyeurs:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I am shocked at how often men and women ask probing, intrusive, questions about your intimacy when you are with a young man. People will openly ask me about my love life with my man. What the hell? It\u2019s nobody else\u2019s business!<\/strong><\/h3>\n

But let\u2019s be clear–a young man does not stay with an older woman unless he wants to!<\/span><\/h1>\n

Cougar Handlers:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Some people refer to them as \u201cCubs\u201d. I\u2019m sorry that just conjures up a whole lot of overtones of Mythical Greek\/Roman tragedies where the kid is crushing on his mom. Just nasty! The young men could be called\u00a0\u2018Cougar Hunters or MILF Hunters\u201d. That\u00a0really describes the chase. What man doesn’t like the pursuit and conquest? I prefer to call them “Cougar Handlers”. Yep thought of it myself. The reason I like this title is that it really gets you thinking about how a middle aged woman wants to be treated–with great care. A handler knows the animal he handles and treats it with respect and care, while understanding that it’s still wild. An older woman has usually been through enough relationship experiences that she doesn’t want to deal with a lot of nonsense. It’s very important for the success of the relationship (however long that may be) for a cougar handler to learn exactly how his cougar wants to be handled. After all when she’s happy, you’re happy!<\/h3>\n

So what’s the appeal? Why does a young guy; who can have his pick of young, firm, women, want to be with a middle aged woman–usually a mother? Let’s face it, the middle aged woman is often passed over in many other social situations, as if her “best if used by date” had expired–like a piece of meat.<\/h3>\n

What is this social revolution<\/strong> taking place? Why does a young man get a “cougar crush<\/strong>“?<\/span><\/h2>\n

Keep following this blog and you will find answers to this intriguing question.<\/span><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I must confess, I have been a confirmed Cougar for more than 10 years now… I didn\u2019t set out to be one. It just evolved out of circumstance. In fact, I didn\u2019t see it coming. I was fairly shocked that I still \u201chad it goin\u2019 on\u201d. I had been in a toxic marriage for several … <\/p>\n

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